Holidays and Hornets

Hey y’all. I hope you and yours are enjoyin’ the holiday season. We had a little drama down ’round the homestead. I really wanted to cook Ma’s prize turkey, but she wasn’t havin’ none of that. I can’t complain much though, that other bird was good eatin’.

It’s been real warm ’round these parts for this time of year. Now it might sound funny, but I’m disappointed I ain’t seen a hard frost yet. You ain’t seen nothin’ ’til you get up early on a frosty mornin’. I love lookin’ out over yonder at the fields. The sparkle in the sunrise looks like glass reflectin’. The other problem is the trees. We usually have the leaves put up and the yard work done by Thanksgiving. After that we just have to put out the Christmas lights, decorations, get the house cleaned for company, shop for food,  and go huntin’ for a wild turkey. I was thinkin’ the leaves still fallin’ was stoppin’ us from restin’, but I reckon I was thinkin’ wrong.

This warm weather did cause me a problem over yonder at the barn. Seems some hornets made themselves a nest in one of my storage bins over the summer. Now normally this ain’t a problem. We don’t use that old barn much these days ‘cept for storin’ old tools. In the summer I pay close attention if I have to go in there on account of the wasps and hornets. They like it in there cause it keeps them out of the weather. This time of year I usually don’t give them no mind. If I find a nest the cold normally has them quiet and I can just destroy it right quick without no trouble.

Well, Darla insisted on storin’ our Christmas lights out at the farm on account of she needed the house storage for her cannin’. So, on Thanksgiving day she wanted me to head out that way and get those lights. I went out a little early so I didn’t miss no football. I was missin’ the frost and cold when I got out there. Seemed sort of a shame to be in a t-shirt in November. Anyway, I walk on in the old barn and find the storage bin with our Christmas decorations. I was plumb shocked to find a big ole hornet’s nest wrapped around the boxes holdin’ the lights.

You ever done somethin’ out of habit, and later wonder why you weren’t thinkin’? Well, I just figured I’d get me a shovel and pull that nest off of there and then sweep off them boxes. Y’all can’t imagine my surprise when about twelve hornets came screamin’ out when I broke that nest. I lit out of that barn like my pants were on fire. One of those suckers had stung me in my butt, so it sort of felt like I was on fire. Now I’m not a young man anymore, but I swear I could have beat my younger self in a race. They got me in the back of the neck and elbow. I hooted and hollered and ran every direction I could think of.

I don’t know when they quit chasin’ me. I just know I got to my ole pickup and got my door closed without any of those devils gettin’ in there with me. I looked out my window and there must’ve been twenty of them things flying around that open barn. I decided I’d leave things just like they were. We don’t have much trouble with thieves. Besides, there ain’t much in that barn but old tools and Christmas decorations. I reckoned if anyone came wondering inside them hornets would chase ’em on out.

Now Darla wasn’t real pleased when I came back with nothin’. She looked at my neck and elbow and would only say I’d had worse. Darla doesn’t like to have her holiday decorations missin’. I told her I’m happy to head back over after we have a hard freeze for a week. She protested, but I told her I wasn’t the weatherman and she oughta start prayin’. So things are a might tense at the moment. Or they were until today.

I reckon I should know better than to try to outsmart my wife. She went grocery shoppin’ this mornin’. She was gone longer than usual, and I assumed it was for all that food we are gonna be needin. She came in the door whistlin’ a happy tune. I’m feelin’ good cause maybe this means she’s forgiven me. I get up out of my readin’ chair and ask her what she’s bought. She grins and topples over these two large paper bags. Boxes of Christmas lights come pourin’ out onto the kitchen table.

I reckon she got me. At least ’til the end of the holidays when I store them lights with her cannin’. Ain’t no way I’m going anywhere near that barn until January from now on. Y’all be good.


The Daily Post: Sparkle



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