Lucius And The Doctor

Hey y’all. You won’t believe the type of week I have had. I had to go to the doctor to get a checked on account of this here medicine I am on. That’s what happens when you get older, or so I’m told. One thing ’bout this medicine, it shuts down your immune system. Now when they first told me, that sounded a might scary. They said I would be fine as long as I stay away from sick folks. Then they told me to come back to the doctor’s office every few weeks. I don’t reckon they know where the sick folks hang out.

Now I mention to the doc I’m a might concerned with visiting more if I am supposed to avoid sick folks. She tells me it’s okay. I just need to sit in the well patient section. ‘Course I was happy then. Leastwise until I went on my visit this week. I’m wonderin’ if the folks workin’ there got into the pain meds. They had well patient and sick patient signs slapped all over them walls. Fortunately, it weren’t too crowded. I find me a seat under the well patient sign and sit right there. They even had a glass wall behind it, so I thought I was safe for sure.

I guess a few more folks were like me ’cause they was talkin’ bout where to sit. Someone points out the second half of my row says, sick patient. Now I ain’t no doctor, but I’m pretty sure if you sit a sick person next to a well one it’s a bad thing. It ain’t like them germs on that sick person is sittin’ there sayin’,”We can’t get that fella next to us sick, he’s in the well section.” Obviously, these folks ain’t never spent no time on a farm. You put yourself a sick cow in the middle of the herd, pretty soon you got a sick herd.

I mentioned it to the nurse when she got me. All she says is, “Yep, that’s confusing.” ‘Course I didn’t fuss none. I just figured maybe I was missing somethin’. I couldn’t fuss much neither ’cause they had me out of that big room in no time at all. Seemed a might ungrateful to have them show right up and then fuss like that. I sure hope those folks in the waitin’ room didn’t stay there too long.

I sat back in the patient room safe and sound. Answered a mess of questions and found out my blood pressure is still there. Then my doctor finally comes in. She is as pretty as she is smart. I don’t mind as it keeps me on my good behavior. My pa and ma told me to always be polite to women. I’m discoverin’ that is a problem sometimes if that woman is a doctor. My Doc tells me they are going to draw blood and I’m all happy about it. I’m actin’ like some kind of dog and she just threw me bacon. Then she says I should get a flu shot. I say no ’cause I ain’t got no immune system. She tells me it will be at least thirty percent effective like that means somethin’. Then she smiles and tells me she recommends it to all her patients on similar drugs, and then softly says it’s my decision.

Well sir, I don’t know why, but that’s all it took. I done agreed. The next thing I know the nurse is stabbin’ my shoulder with a needle. Then I head down yonder to the lab and some other lady is stabbin’ me with another needle. We are joking about somethin’, I can’t remember what. Probably ’cause I was still tryin’ to figure out how I got a flu shot.

I’m happy to say I survived that day. Didn’t get sick or nothin’. Maybe it was that flu shot. I don’t have to go back for six months, praise the Lord. I’m kinda worried ’bout that visit though on account of being due for a colonoscopy.

Y’all be good.

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